I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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