yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
