sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
