my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize