also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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