He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
