do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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