Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize