would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
