I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
