with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
