you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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