Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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