Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
