I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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