If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
