i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
