At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
