Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
