Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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