Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
