somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
