she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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