Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
