i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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