I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Couch. On fire.
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