I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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