I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
