they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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