I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
