Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
