I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have fence marks all over my body
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
