watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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