my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.