I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.