i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...