How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....