So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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