We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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This is my gift to your gina
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
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Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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