I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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