I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is Oprah even human
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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