He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
