I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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