according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
