I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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