I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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