It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
