cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
