the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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