told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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