She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
