I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize