you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
