Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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