I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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