we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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