You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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