no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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