i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
